We have witnessed over the last several months, many well known figures in public life come out with heart-rending stories of their sexual abuse at the hands of men. These men are alleged to have exploited their positions of power to take advantage of the females for the purpose of sickening sexual gratification and self aggrandisement. The enduring torment and shame that the ladies have to endure is frequently unspeakable. #MeToo is encouraging women to speak out about what happened to them.
In recent years, there have been more historical sexual abuse cases going to trial. In the UK, we have seen police prosecutions and court convictions of organised criminal gangs involved in deplorable exploitation of women in places like Rotherham and Oxford. The perpetrators were found to have not only subjected young women and girls to grooming and sexual exploitation but lured them into prostitution rings using violence, alcohol and drugs as levers for control. The toll on long term mental and emotional health of those caught up in these sordid affairs is profound.
The scandals of sexual abuse that have been uncovered to have taken place in various church institutions is desperately sad. The revelation of the gross misconduct of a sexual nature that took place within the USA gymnastics teams shocked the world. The stories recounted by the young female gymnasts girls that led to a successful prosecution were very touching. They hit very close to home to any parent who has placed their child in the care of ‘responsible officials’. It is clear that virtually every setting or institution can be a location for inappropriate sexual conduct and abuse.
As a family doctor practicing in East Anglia, UK, I see a significant number of
patients of various ages presenting with psychological problems. A common theme is emotional trauma a lot of which has taken place during childhood and adolescence. Scores of women and men present with the ‘emotional scars’ of events that took place several years previously.
Frequently there is a distorted or fuzzy memory of what actually transpired, with conflict in the mind of the assailed as to the extent that which they contributed to the events. Frequently, all that is persists is profound memory of trauma or violation, with confusion, powerlessness and an enduring sense of shameful victim hood.
Unfortunately, there are too frequent accounts of betrayal by trusted relatives and by people in authority who should have been there to protect. A large proportion of women and men with mental disorders in their adult life, give painful accounts of stolen childhoods and blighted adolescence resulting from inappropriate sexual activity. For many, it happened following the breakdown of the family unit when they were seeking solace and comfort from a boyfriend. The ensuing relationships invariably do not yield the long term security or satisfaction that was sought but rather create a ‘frying pan to fire situation’ with episodes of oppression, violence, and sexual assault in an environment of drug and alcohol misuse.
For a lot of these ladies, their #MeToo stories will never get told. For a lot of victims, they remain oppressed and unable to break free. For many, in their eyes, it is best just to keep it buried away from present day reality. A significant proportion will descend to a state of chronic mental decline defined by a loss of sense of self , diminishing self worth and a maelstrom of negative emotions that manifest as self destructive behaviour. For these people, it is evident that the impact of the event is still very strong. Sadly, negative emotions and painful memories create the perfect environment for unhealthy attitudes and actions which push people further to depths of despair.
The identification of the solution to the problem is going to require a root and branch approach that looks at why this kind of conduct seems to have found a home in the wider culture. Specific factors will be at play in individual situations. How did the victims become vulnerable? What gave the perpetrators the confidence to proceed? On a broader scale, the problem of dealing with sexual misconduct and the enduring impact and requires a long sober look at our modern day society, what values we are promoting and how modern living is creating emotional cripples by allowing the undermining of the sanctity of the relationships and institutions that make us civilised.
The #MeToo movement has shone a much needed light on the plight of victims and given women the confidence to speak up about what happened to them.

We desperately need to see a reduction in the number of men who would be perpetrators of these offences. We need to see a reduction in the women and men who will become victims of these offences. Stable families and secure home environments for children growing up are priceless necessities. Communities need to provide leadership and engender accountability amongst all with clear standards and reference points for what is deemed acceptable . The inculcation of values in young people of dignity, honour , respect and kindness will guide young people to make sensible choices about their own lifestyles and relationships.
We need to as a society to be able to define what is desirable and do what we can to promote it. We need to embrace healing through compassion and facilitating the giving and receiving of forgiveness. The process of rebuilding an individual’s life involves recreating their personality, outlook and values. It is a transformation that requires patience, understanding and love. We need as human kind to be ready to have the conversations that will bring about the turning of hearts all over our nations to create an overall more caring, healing and restorative society.
Where human abilities will fall short in this effort as most definitely will be the case, we need to be looking Godward to draw on divine inspiration and power.
Dr Ike Nnene
General Practitioner
NorwichPrivateGP.co.uk
ikeandlinda.org