Passion in Your Marriage

Passion in Your Marriage – Keep the Spark in Your Marriage
Passion, spark or whatever you want to call that sense of intense desire that couples experience usually in the early stages of their relationship is much more than just sexual. Many authors have written on the subject of limerence as something that frequently exists in the early stages of a relationship but tends to diminish or at times disappears altogether in couples that have been together for a while. Couples who are in the peak of their love will have an outward display of their feelings by frequently seeking to connect with their spouse with a resultant passionate satisfying sexual experience. There exists an urgent and ongoing need to think of the person, spend time with them and make an effort to please them. Perhaps we need to look into our personal, individual experiences to understand passion within our marriages and what becomes of it. There are the issues of life that inevitably arise that have the potential to derail romantic love. Career, finances, children, are guaranteed to present challenging situations that over time take our energy and focus such that we find ourselves falling short of the heights of passion which prevailed early in our relationship.

How do we process what we going through with our spouse? How can we keep the fires of passion alive?

Turn towards your spouse. I am learning to turn towards my husband rather than turning against. This is love in action. When we work together it leads to happiness and closeness.

Practice devotion together. As a couple we are blessed that we have common interests. A big one is singing together. We have always sung together. However, devotion/worship goes beyond this. It includes bible studies together and praying together. We discover that as we practice these consistently and place God in the centre of our relationship it is bound to flourish. If we have peace and love flowing through us we are more likely to be appreciative of our spouse rather than critical. With these feelings of positivity in us we are more likely to be loving and giving more. That is what knowing God and living in Him is about. With this passion increases.

If you are not doing this, this is something to consider. I, Linda, am still learning.

Positive affirmation. My husband always reminds me that when I get upset with him I need to resist from speaking negative words no matter how small but think of those positive qualities he has and express them daily. In a nutshell, express positive feelings and compliments. Choose to love even in the hard days which are near enough guaranteed to occur. We all need to remember that no one is perfect. We can use this as a basis to intercede for our spouse just as we recognise the need for grace to deal with our own imperfections.

Matthew 19:6 states that we are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together let no man separate. When there is a disagreement we must decide to foster goodwill because every marriage will have disagreements. Let us strive to understand our spouse’s perspective.

One thing that is a complete turn off and passion killer is threatening your spouse with retribution or divorce. No matter how bad an argument is do not bring that word into your discussion or argument.

Nurture emotional trust and be vulnerable. Why hide your feelings? Real intimacy means we render ourselves emotionally exposed and that can be scary however it is important to share those fears or emotions with your spouse. They may not understand at that moment, but it does not mean they will never.

Desire a rich sexual connection. Sex should not just be an obligation. It should be a great pleasure we experience with our spouse. It should not just be limited to the missionary position in the bedroom. God made our marriage a safe place for married couples to discover, experiment, laugh and love through satisfying and even sensational sex. 1 Corinthians 7: 2-5 clearly gives us the instruction. “…each woman should have her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband…” Proverbs 5: 15-19 also makes it quite clear. “…and rejoice in the wife of your youth…be intoxicated always in her love.”

Passion should remain in marriage and one could argue that the longer a couple is together the greater the opportunity to express passionate love.

Closeness and communication. Communicate through honest discussion, and desire to connect emotionally and physically. One of the vital non-sexual stimulus in a marriage is the ability to create unrestricted conversation regarding worries or apprehensions. Be rest assured sometimes these issues may be difficult topics for example, in-laws, finance, household tasks and responsibilities. We must know when to let go, take a break and come back perhaps later.

Kiss every night before you go to bed and before you leave in the morning and several times in between as well!

Create a deep sense of intimacy by ensuring when you kiss other parts of your bodies touch. You are not kissing a stranger therefore practice physical reconnect. This creates passion and quite frankly increases physical affection. Hold hands and touching can release oxytocin which causes a soothing sensation. Learn to slow dance to read Song of Solomon it really gives us insight to passion! The best way to keep our marriage fulfilling and passionate is to create acts to enhance our deep love and intimacy as a couple.

Have fun and laughter. Laugh together, you will not regret this. Learn to hang out with your spouse and laugh at jokes. When I have had a bad day I can trust that when I get home there will be laughter to make me forget ‘my bad day’. Our children have taught us how to watch vines on social media. Some of these are funny. Just laugh together.

Create an open-ended dialog regarding apprehensions. Don’t be surprised if some of your discussions are heated – especially around hot-button issues such as money, chores, vacations, in-laws, etc. The key to a successful marriage is knowing when to let scorching issues go and being able to pause when you feel overwhelmed.

Resolve conflicts quickly. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. Passion in a marriage also means reconnecting and repairing after conflicts arise. Anger and resentment can destroy our marriage. Therefore, we must always make that difficult decision to always reconnect before going to bed. If you are like me, Linda, when I have carried this to bed I am giving the enemy my heart to sow discord and I begin to stew over things. This is not good and entirely unacceptable to God. Ephesians 4:26-27 clearly tells us, Be angry and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil. Learning ways to reconnect after a disagreement will enhance your passion and fortify your marriage.

Be intentional. Marriage is not a time to coast. We must learn to spend time with our spouses in new ways. We call it investing in our relationship. For instance, encourage a common interest because shared experiences improve marriages and deepen friendship, many spouses have regular date night so make the night special, try doing something different, use different mediums to say, “I love you”, go on regular getaways – if efforts are put in a getaway we are bound to find reasonably priced packages in lovely destinations. Get away purely for unhurried time together. After all, after Jesus fed the multitudes he left for the mountain to pray. Prayer means talking to God. Communication, drawing close to God. This is true of our relationship. We need time to get away and communicate, get to know one another, reconnect. An unhurried time together.

In summary, learn how to honour God in your marriage, communicate better, resolve conflict and recommit to your spouse.

A virtuous marriage requires vulnerability to succeed. Responding wholeheartedly to your spouse’s approaches will help you bring out the best in one another.


A Happy Marriage – What you and your spouse deserve

Happy marriages last. They do not end in divorce. They are strong and stand the test of time. Happy marriages lead to the establishment of happy homes. They constitute an immeasurable source of unending satisfaction and wellness for husband and wife. They provide the foundation for a stable society. Children from happy homes are more likely to grow into happy balanced individuals than children from unhappy and dysfunctional homes. We owe it to our children to create a stable loving home environment. We owe it to our children and generations to come to leave the legacy of strong marital unions and secure stable family units from where individuals will emerge to make a healthy valuable contribution to society.
In this day and age one may ask, is it possible to have a truly happy unending marriage? Can one really expect to be genuinely happy with their wife or husband for the duration of their lives ’till death do us part’?

What we need realise is that to a large extent we have the wherewithal and ability to orchestrate our lives and our marriages. When both partners have this understanding and commit to doing what it takes the results are truly awesome. So in reality, we have to decide to have a happy marriage. But you may say, no one decides on purpose to have an unhappy marriage or broken home. That may be true, but we live in a universe which the reap the benefits or have to deal the consequences of our actions which are determined by attitudes we hold.

If we have the right attitude and align ourselves with the understanding that we can have a happy marriage. These steps if followed will near enough guarantee
H – Hand over your life to the Lord.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28)

Realise that you when you have entrusted your life and your marriage into the one who created all things you are drawing on all the resources of heaven and are giving yourself a much greater chance to succeed. God has given us the template for marriage. He designed the created the institution and has the wisdom and understanding we require to be fulfilled and happy in marriage

A – Appreciate your partner for who they are including their strengths and vulnerabilities.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Make a decision to be your partners lover and to value all the aspects of their person not only those you find attractive and make a commitment to cover for any of their weaknesses whether these have been acknowledged or not.

P – Pursue connectedness with your spouse.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis‬ ‭2:23-24‬ ‭NIV

Have a desire to have a deep connection with your spouse. Your understanding of each other should be given utmost attention as the frequency of physical contact and profound sexual intimacy. A connected couple in love will have the earnest desire to meet each other’s needs. Giving of ones self to ones spouse becomes the daily goal.

P – Plan your happy life together.
So I commend the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better for a person under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life God has given them under the sun. ‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭8:15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Fun times generate happy memories. The more you do together that creates an experience of pleasure, laughter and joy the happier your marriage will be overall. Be intentional in the development of recreational times and breaks as they will create memories that will help carry you through any challenges.

Y – Yield to your partner in everything.

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans‬ ‭12:10‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Having the attitude of preferring your partner is the sure way of ensuring that your love and respect for them is real and practical. When in a relationship you are both of the mindset ‘it does not have to be all my way’, you are fostering an atmosphere of consensus and agreement where challenges do not have to result in arguments and differences are resolved amicably.

Let us all use the H-A-P-P-Y approach to ensure we can enjoy happy, fulfilling marriages for all our days.

Lots of love,

Ike and Linda

Power and Beauty TM is the creation of Ike & Linda Nnene. They teach on principles of living that can bring us success and fulfilment in our personal lives, families and career.

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Being a mum and a wife…dealing with life in the mid forties

I am still wide awake at 0105hours. It has been a busy day but things have been constantly served up on the to do list all day and all the time in the day seems to have just run away. I can see eyes wide open in shock! This is an example of the few changes that may be happening to some of us.

Being a mum and a wife can frequently take its toll. Incessant demands, never ending chores and pressure to be the indefatigable supermom, can at times create a weariness that tends to pull one down both physically and emotionally. I believe our focus should be what we do those times when we think “no one is looking out for me”, “no one acknowledges the things I do around here”, “I am exhausted”, “get me out of here”. Need I go on? Do these statements resonate with you?

You are in your mid 40s and there are a few priorities in our lives. We want to ensure that our children are safe, happy, content and quite frankly doing well in every area. It is generally considered that once you are in your mid-40s you are at the top of the hill, perhaps at the zenith, major milestone achieved. Do we need reminding that we still have many years to go until our children are ‘fully sorted’ and frankly does this ever happen? I see the 40s as a ‘changing time’ in my life but not the end of the striving.

How do we cope with ourselves? How do we move through perimenopause to the full-blown menopause? Suffice to say this is a treacherous time. It is unpredictable on so many fronts and has the potential to manifest quite severe adverse consequences.

My husband always says that society is built on the family unit. Stable families lead to a stable society. The wife’s or mother’s wellbeing are a key determinant of family stability. Therefore, if that is the case, it would not be far wrong to say that the family unit is built on the female’s hormone! Think about it people, mums are jack of all trades – you are the chauffeur, secretary, receptionist, chef, pastoral leader/manager, husband helper / ego soother, school liaison officer, trouble-shooter, wren. We are selfless. Therefore, when perimenopause to menopause comes it is often like a hand-grenade. No one prepares you.

There are so many articles that have been written on this topic but I would like to focus only on an issue that many take for granted and perhaps would prefer to draw a veil over. Slowly the mummy-sagacity is moving on. We can see this happening and so can the rest of the family.

The symptoms you may notice will include, persistent sad or anxious mood, irritability, sleeplessness, or not enough sleep, fatigue, aches and pains, forgetfulness or a lack of concentration, worthlessness or feeling guilty, weight gain or even weight loss. No amount of Christian praise and worship will miraculously make any of these symptoms disappear or tranquillise your nerves. Our bodies change also – oestrogen levels fluctuate, signs of aging, hair challenges, flat belly becoming not so flat.

We just need to prepare ourselves. This is one topic mothers do not talk about and it takes their daughters by surprise. There must be a certain age where we should be speaking openly about this to our daughters. However, I am still uncertain if it would prepares us well enough for the change.

Accept the change. We are unable to run away from this change. We are unable to deny that we are experiencing changes in our bodies. Denying it can only affect us negatively, mentally. It could also bring about confusion. So, what you are going through the ‘peri’ stage! Accept the change and continue saying to yourself “I am beautiful, I have reached an amazing age and the changes are beautiful”. As a Christian, I go through scriptures that help me. Philippians 1:6 tells me categorically tells us He who began a good work in me (and you) will perfect it. What a promise!

Get closer to your spouse. A lot of times we imagine things that are necessarily not there. Your husband still loves you the way you are. You both are going through changes however you need to both remain committed. This means your journey is his journey. Get closer to him, talk to him, let him know how you are feeling. I am still learning to depend on his robust assessment but I am glad we are going through this journey together, developing in every area of our lives together.

Learn to relax and reduce stress. Exercise is such a wonderful thing. We all are extremely busy but we must find time to exercise. A mix of exercises will be good for us. We all know the benefits of exercising – good sleep, managing stress better and more energy for work and play respectively, it makes us look better. Do not forget your pelvic exercises!

Woman to Woman. I am completely blessed that I have my mother whom I run to when I need to chat, gain objective knowledge, gossip and more. I can speak to my mum about anything and everything. When we initially chatted about ‘peri’ and ‘meno’, her initial response was “oh I went through it, every woman goes through it”. We laughed and the conversation began. I have a mum who is able to teach, mentor and show by example. Find an older woman who has been there and worn the t-shirt! Every young woman needs an older wiser woman who can teach, mentor and show by example. When you feel overwhelmed you may need a shoulder to cry on or just someone who is not your spouse. The older woman has been on this road and will be the right person to encourage and inspire you. For those of us who believe and even those who do not the bible speaks of this in Titus 2:3-5. Quite frankly if you thought certain principles are not in the bible, they are!

Professional support. Occasionally this may be needed. Doctors and other women’s health professionals are here for a reason. For those of us who believe, my message here is trust in God through the medical professionals. We must listen to them and consider their diagnosis. Seeking professional help does not mean you have no faith. God uses medical professionals to provide skill, proficiency aegis and care. Every treatment modality suggested needs to be fully evaluated with as much understanding of the issues at stake as possible. It has been stated that in this day and age society is quite accepting of

Medical history and tests. Throughout your 40s medical tests can be very useful to help in the diagnosis of medical problems. Correct identification of treatable problems like thyroid disorders and vitamin D deficiency is valuable. You will get tired and frustrated but every test is important. Be it blood counts for anaemia, cholesterol, diabetes screening, thyroid hormones, blood pressure endeavour not to overlook these but ensure that you know ‘that your tests are okay’.

Mindset . Our disposition and mental attitude will determine our responses to situations. Each day I reflect on the positives that have worked well. I sometimes make a list of this and hope to use those positives the next day. It could be the most mundane things. You have been suffering from hot flushes, weight gain, mood swings. So what?! Think positive thoughts by being aware of what you say to yourself. Be grateful with your body and your health. We must also learn to have some ‘me time’ where you set aside time for you and you alone.

Practice Gratitude. This is a topic Ike and I teach quite often. It is applicable here. Celebrate the fact that you are alive and well.
For those of us who are married perhaps it is also time to focus on our husbands. He is also confused and concerned. I have to sometimes remind myself that he is also going through ‘my uncertainties’ so I must try and be nice, friendly, patient but mostly treat him with love.
The truth is that we are all growing up, developing and changes will occur. When this happens let us embrace it. There is life beyond this and I choose to be happy and celebrate. I am still realising this.

Love and much blessings to you,


Make a difference 

We are in the midst of a really challenging period in the history of mankind. Questions are constantly being asked about the meaning of life, what the purpose of our existence really is and how we all fit into the bigger picture.

It is clear that the environment we find ourselves in has a huge role to play in our outlook on life. Factors such as age, gender, ethnic origin, geographical location, family structure, wealth & fortune, educational level and social status, will have a massive impact on how an individual sees himself or herself in the spectrum of life.

When you compare the lives of successful people, those who are doing well at blessing others with those who are not you will see a clear pattern emerging.

Abundance versus lack

Bounty versus poverty

Generosity versus stinginess

Outward looking versus inward looking

Optimistic versus pessimistic

Goal oriented versus directionless

It is becoming clearer that if we are going to make an impact we have to have the impact mindset which is programmed for success. We need to take onboard that we have a greater responsibility to set the agenda rather than let us be passive observers or passengers in the world about us.

Impact starts where you are. Faithfulness in little things leads to open doors for bigger things.

Steps to being a person of impact

1. Be determined to be the best you can at the current station you are in. Be dedicated & trustworthy.

2. Learn what is required to move to the next level. Be a learner. Become a high value asset to your organisation.

3. Study the habits of people who are currently higher than you and adopt those that bring about consistent development. Adopt a mentees attitude.

4. Look for opportunities to move ahead with the confidence that you will excel.

5. Never feel that you have learnt enough or risen enough. There are still many mountains to climb & thresholds to cross.

Ike Nnene

New Year 2017. What will help you achieve your goals.

Also called – The 5 Ds of success

As last year was drawing to a close many folk were making promises to themselves and others concerning what they would achieve in the new year. 
The year is well underway , first week already gone and we are quickly discovering that it may seem that the realisation of the goals and aspirations is proving a little more challenging.

It is important not to panic and resist the sinking feeling that is trying to convince you that this year is not going to be any different, but to remain focused on the goals and see yourself walking in the fullness of your destiny for 2017. 

I have put together 5 Ds that will help you achieve your goals this year.

Destination – it is important to be clear to yourself and others what your goal is. Write it down . Have a clear vision of what you want to achieve , where you want to be and in your heart anticipate the sense of fulfilment that will result when you get there. When you know where you are heading then plans have a greater meaning. 

“And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”

‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2:2‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Drive – this is what will keep you on the journey towards your destination. It is your motivation – keeping the reason before your eyes. It will allow you to knock back discouragement and any negativity that you encounter in the process. Drive manifests as determination. It tends to be infectious as the people in your life come to the understanding that you will not be dissuaded. You will get to where you are headed.

“And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭11:6‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Discipline – means attending to the things that you need to attend to in order to achieve your goal. The only way you can achieve the goal is acquiring the knowledge and skills needed to get you there and putting to practice what you have to do. Redeeming the time equates to doing what you need to do now and not putting it off. Great time management will put in a position to see your goal realised. Heaping up tonnes of potential without ever launching out or doing anything will keep you at the level of ‘tomorrow’ person.

“Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise: Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭6:6-8‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Durability – this is the same as staying power, being able to overcome obstacles. If you are about to give up at the first hurdle then it is clear you need to reassess your reason for starting out on the venture. Discouragement may come in a number of ways. If you are not getting any boost from the people in your life it can be extremely off putting and lead to all sorts of questions. You need to develop resilience – the ability to remain single minded , undeterred and committed to the goal.

“Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded.”

‭‭2 Chronicles‬ ‭15:7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Delight – this implies that you need not only to celebrate the outcome but to relish the process , the steps of the journey , the stages of development that you are going through. Being able to rejoice in every situation will catapult you into greater the realms of possibility. You remain grateful and positive no matter you have to deal with. In the process of handling disappointment you will be learning what works and what does not, how to do things better, more efficiently which ultimately will lead to more success. 

The child of God should practice praise as a lifestyle as this yields abundant dividends.

“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭37:4‬ ‭KJV‬‬

May your desires be fulfilled in 2017!


Prayer is a powerful tool to use daily in your work.

God listens and cares! Jesus taught us to pray that Gods will be done on earth on our lives. God is the God of compassion.
Prayer works best when we let ourselves go and just say ‘Lord I need You!’

The essence of prayer is talking with God & allowing Him to talk back to you via a witness in your spirit.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

So we see that one of the outcomes of prayer is peace. When you pray, allow God to grant you His peace. Desire to remain in the place of peace no matter what might be going on.

Wife Tips for Marital Fulfilment

We can all relate to different seasons in our marriages – times when everything is just how we would want it, and other times when it seems as if the world around us including situations and individuals are just ‘not helping’. A good husband should always be able to make things better, not withstanding that he may have been the source of frustration to start with! In difficult times we need to allow God’s grace to have a good work in us.

We are grateful to the Lord for twenty years of married life. Looking back over the period we have lived together we can reflect that certain attitudes and practices help to steer us from difficulty to a place of wellbeing and peace. We have put down twenty positive mindsets, tips which will help wives deal their husband in the best possible way, and handle their emotions better as they seek to make their marital home the best it can be.

1. You chose him therefore respect him not just when he has earned it. Just respect him!

2. Men are not wired like women – we see things differently therefore COMMUNICATE!

3. Sex is good! Keep this lively and passionate.

4. Affirm – something I am still learning. Learn his love language.

5. Speak softly and kindly – Gracious words are sweet to the soul (Prov. 16:24).

6. Take care of yourself – inside and outside. Be clean, modest, orderly, and dutiful – 1 Timothy 2:9. Proverbs 31:13, 15, 27, RSV.* “Be ye clean.” Isaiah 52:11. 1 Corinthians 14:40.

7. Keep your home tidy – this is very close to my heart. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

8. Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath.

9. He comes before the children – children will leave your home. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.

10. Forgive

11. The grass is not greener on the other side therefore guard your heart. Be content with the man you have chosen, with the life you both lead. It does get better if you are focussed.

12. Threatening divorce does not help.

13. Choose to love in good and bad times – Above all things. (Col. 3:14)

14. Plan Date nights

15. Always speak positively about your spouse privately and publicly.

16. No third party – keep your intimacies private!

17. Have fun together, share together and pray together – James 5:16 and 1:5. Check out Matthew 26:41

18. Be loyal to him

19. Make friends with people who’ll encourage your marriage.

20. Avoid or stay away from those who are ready to tear you apart.

Our prayer is that husbands and wives will be able to tap into the abundance of grace that God has made available for couples and see their marriages flourish.18393041_l-2




Husband Tips For An Enduring & Blissful Marriage

By the grace of God we mark the twentieth anniversary of our marriage later this month.  The memory of the day we said ‘I do’ on the sunny summer afternoon in North London, UK remains fresh in our minds. We do not take lightly the milestone we have attained considering that the statistics for marriage survival in the UK are not very pretty. According to statistics published in 2012, 42% of marriages in England & Wales end in divorce and 34% of marriages are expected to end in divorce by the 20th wedding anniversary.

Sadly, being in a Christian marriage does not guarantee that ones marriage will stay the course and not end up in divorce. Looking back over the years at our marriage we have been blessed beyond measure in so many areas, but there have also been instances where difficult situations could have gone from bad to worse giving that feeling of despondency which have led many to feel they had no option but to call time on their marriage. We can boldly proclaim that it is the grace of God that has seen us through to this point and we rely on His grace to help us in the days, weeks, months and years ahead.

Of the many lessons we have learnt over the years we believe that unwavering commitment to the union is what will keep you together when you might have several reasons why splitting might seem an attractive option. It is clear that remaining married just to avoid the problems that come with divorce, while a useful leverage point in one’s mind to help maintain your resolve, is not the ultimate goal of your relationship.

Husbands have a pivotal role in keeping their homes intact and happy. While that seems a startlingly obvious truth, that role when neglected can lead to a weakening of the fabric of the relationship, which can frequently result in problems which over time may appear insurmountable.

The truth is that husband and wife work best together to strengthen their marriage and make their home a fortress. There are several factors which can help create a wonderful relationship between husband and wife.

We have used our own experiences to identify 20 tips, one for each year of our marriage 🙂 , which will help husbands to become and remain  effective spouses keen to see their marriages not only survive but thrive.

  1. Love your wife unconditionally.
  2. Always pray for your wife
  3. Be full of praise and adoration for who she is
  4. Always celebrate her achievements and express gratitude for what she does
  5. Make an effort to appreciate her point of view before giving a response on any matter
  6. Be patient in all your dealings with your wife
  7. Strive for peace and the rapid resolution of any conflict. Be quick and earnest in apology
  8. Commit to spending quality time with your wife
  9. Pay attention to the things that affect your wife.
  10. Be open and truthful in all your dealings with your wife
  11. Practice gentleness at all times – being ‘brutally honest’ is not always a sensible approach
  12. It is more important to get in a kind, loving word than the ‘last word’ in any exchange
  13. Do not take to heart anything said by your wife in frustration or in the heat of the moment
  14. Talk your wife in a manner in which she feels respected and not demeaned
  15. Have your wife’s well being at the top of your priority list. Commit continually to meeting her needs
  16. Desire intimacy and do your utmost to create an atmosphere for spiritual and physical closeness
  17. Let your wife know that she is more important than other important things in your life
  18. Do not emphasise or magnify your wife’s shortcomings or any errors but prayerfully commit to being there for her.
  19. Commit daily to being the spiritual head of your home and be an example to your wife in all things – faith, character, speech and attitude
  20. Be available for your wife in all things and be sure to let her see your commitment to her, your children and your home

With this non-exhaustive list of tips part of your code of conduct you will be well on your way to being the husband that your wife needs and desires.

The Spirit of the Lord in the life  of a man will allow every committed husband to become the best companion, partner, lover, friend, confidante, support, helper, breadwinner and all round hero to his wife which will help create marital bliss.

We hope to expand on these attitudes and share additional insights via subsequent posts for the benefit of both husband and wife as we seek to encourage you to have the best marriage possible.